Satire: Interview with Big Brother Jack Bulldog

Updated: Nov 13, 2021

You might think you know who calls the shots at Georgetown. But you don’t. You may never even have heard of Jack the Bulldog- the all-powerful figure who controls our fates from the shadows. He is only ever referred to with deferential murmurs of Big Brother. Recently this scribe sat down with the Big Brother of Georgetown Crypt in Qatar. 

Though classes had not been held the entire semester, cries of anguish were still rife in the air. The screeches of a victim from last year, who had been tortured mercilessly by the unrelenting Economics instruments, still reverberated around the complex. Jack the Bulldog’s office is in the bowels of the haunted necropolis of Georgetown Crypt. Big Brother Bulldog received us at the door of his office and ushered us in.

We got right down to business. We asked Brother Bulldog about the extra work being given to students who were mentally overwhelmed by the pandemic as it was. Brother Bulldog leaned back in a satisfied manner to answer. “A decision I take a lot of pride in! You see, it is about time we showed those chaps in Washington who’s the boss. With our students working extra hard during the pandemic while those D.C. people slack off, we’ll overtake them in no time! They won’t know what hit ‘em! Soon our campus will be the main campus, and they will be our satellite! Promotion!!”