Updated: Nov 13, 2021
I was born different- you might assume that this might make me unique but unfortunately, it has made me cursed. There is nothing exciting about feeling guilty over the death of your best friend every single day. All I ever wished was to be like any other person, with normal vision so that I don’t have to see the remaining time left of a person’s life.
Ever since I was born, I used to see the time left for people on their forehead, but I never cared about it because I didn’t know what it meant. I thought it was something everyone experienced so it didn’t bother me that much. But I learnt to care the hard way.
There was very little time left for my best friend compared to others. We were young- just sixteen. I was busy complaining about my own life and all my concerns. She always listened, but I never did. And suddenly her time was up; it was a heart attack. She was at my house when it happened- she fell asleep and never woke up. I realised later that she was suffering from heart problems, that she didn’t want to tell me because she didn’t want to burden me. She didn’t complain about her health issues when we were together because I was too selfishly obsessing over my own problems. At this point, I questioned everything in my life and I believed that I didn’t deserve to be someone’s friend, so I distanced myself from everyone until now.
I became an outcast and I decided to continue living like that forever. I didn’t think I’d be able to say another goodbye to a loved one without breaking down afterwards and since I can’t prevent myself from seeing the time left for people, I thought I could prevent myself from getting attached to them.
I continued living alone, until I was 23. Life was not the best, but it was certainly much better than having unnecessary relationships that would end anyway. Not to mention I found a great way to cope with my special “talent”, which is dark shades. I figured out that whenever I wear them I stop seeing the time left for people. So now you will never spot me without dark shades, since it became a part of me!
I run away from what might hurt me because I know I won’t be able to face it. I am a coward and I know it, and I blame myself for it. You wanna know why? Because I might have been able to change what happened on that night or even extended her time. You wouldn’t imagine the amount of “what ifs” I have had in my mind. “What if I didn’t let her sleep, then maybe her heart wouldn’t have stopped so suddenly?” “What if I asked her how she was, and shared that sickness with her, maybe her heart would have been better?” These are some of the thoughts I go to sleep with on a daily basis.
I realised in the most painful way how immature and naive a human can be at a very young age. All I want is a time-machine, to go back in time and change everything, to be a better friend, to be a better person but it was too late when I realized that I needed to change. People never appreciate what they have, thinking it will last forever but once it’s gone, only then do they start to appreciate it. Taking things for granted was my worst mistake because I lost everything afterwards.
I went to the mall the next day to buy a new pair of shades and as I was trying on sunglasses, I saw this girl and I froze. She looked just like my best friend and I started tearing up. As I was trying different glasses on, my eyes were uncovered so I got to see her time left on this earth, which was three minutes.
I panicked, it was as if history was repeating itself. I might not know this little girl but at this instant, I felt that helping her would ease the guilt I have felt since my best friend’s death. Maybe this was a one-off chance given to me and I didn’t want to waste it.
I followed the girl around until she left the mall. There was nothing suspicious up until that point- she was just standing there eating her ice cream. I examined everything around her and it all seemed safe to me until I saw her wanting to cross the street. That’s when I knew that she would die from a car accident, as a truck was approaching when she wanted to cross the streets. I ran as fast as I could to stop her and I was successful. I was so happy that I grabbed her arms, and that truck drove safely without harming anyone. I looked at her again but her time was still decreasing. Why did she have thirty seconds left? I froze again and as the thirty seconds passed, she also passed away. In the end, history did repeat itself, but why? I tried my best but maybe my best was not enough.
The reason behind her death was food poisoning, it was that ice-cream, that damn ice-cream. I left the hospital crying and as I was leaving this old lady approached me out of the blue and she told me one thing, “you can’t change someone who is destined to die, but you can change someone’s last moment to be their best.” Turns out she had the same ability as I did. She continued, “you know exactly when people will have their last goodbye, and I learnt to make their last goodbye worth it. We are special, not cursed. Imagine making the last moments of your loved ones the best moments. Imagine how grateful they would be. I have learnt that the hard way probably just like you did. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that we learnt how to make the best out of what we have.”